Badwater, stories and a little karma

It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life.
If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself.
The dreams will come to you.
- Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Life is funny, twists and turns, up and downs. There are points in our life where we catch ourselves  headed for rock bottom.  By grace, we can hopefully  bounce back up from the bottom and be stronger for it. I was reminded recently that life is about choices. We own our choices. That does not mean we will always make the right choice (who determines right or wrong anyway),  but we are making OUR choices. Life is not about living in a" story" or what someone else envisions as your "story".  Living IS the story. It is dynamic. My story is one of love and dedication to the things important in my life. My dedication is in my relationships, first to my nuclear family and then to my extended ultrafamily. I have not always succeeded in every choice I have made but, I am learning to grow from my own defeats and keep standing taller as a result.

The other day I was honored to once again be invited back to the desert this July to compete in the Badwater Ultramarathon. This is considered to be the world's toughest footrace. Having crewed the race in 2010 for my brother Tony Portera , and run the race in 2011, I can attest that if it is not the toughest race on the planet, it is pretty darn close. The sheer level of camaraderie, pain, suffering and joy is like nothing I have ever witnessed. Few things can truly strip you down to your core and this is one of those things.

Stripped to the core....

For me and my family this is far more than a race. It is a family reunion in every sense of the word. I mean, who really wants  to hang out mid July in Death Valley, with temps at a cool 125, and run 135miles for vacation. Heck, I love Death Valley so much I am going there to train in June. Better yet, this year my soon to be 11yo, Carson, gets to celebrate her birthday in Death Valley….. and she is excited about it. Maybe that's a problem but I'm ok with it :)

My little me Carson

The bonds that Erin and I have created in the ultracommunity have defined our life in ways that we  never imagined. One of the things I love so very much is the strong common thread people possess. One of perseverance, giving and pure sincerity. Yep that's it in a nutshell. You never have to wonder about mind games, ulterior motives or negative chatter from anyone. Badwater champions never put themselves on a pedestal and get the same buckle everyone else does, no prize money just pride.  Our normal life society could learn a lesson or two here. There is no doubt most of those people would go to the end of the earth to help me and my family. To be honest, some have.  In turn, they all know I would do the same for them. It's about commitment, once you commit in life you owe it to yourself and everyone around to do the best to carry that through within reason of course.

Gulp, where it all hits home.....

E, myself and Badwater Ben

This year we are coming to the desert with  guns a blazing. Erin and my good buddy Ray Zahab will be running the show. Having one of the world's greatest desert racers and most amazing people on your team is a priceless honor. You can never predict what will happen out there and for that you must bow to the Death Valley gods and hope they grace you race-day.

Gatineau Park with Ray Zahab

Let the preparation begin, I will do my part for sure, hopefully karma will take care of itself !!!

Iron Horse 100, the quit point and brick walls.........

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” - Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture


This last weekend I once again competed in one of my favorite events the Iron Horse 100. Not so sure why I keep coming back since I cuss the rocks every time and have nightmares about the eternal straight out and backs and out and backs, etc. It's probably because the RD Chris Rodatz is a great guy and good friend, it is local and easy to get to and that I always get to see so many people I know there. I have now run the 100-mile 3 times, the 100k once and served as Med director once. Erin has served as Med director twice and crewed most years. This year she served as Med director and crew for 3 people and was quite busy doing both.

Iron Horse and many "Very small Rocks"
(courtesy of Marc Taylor)

The Mighty Tresell
(courtesy of Marc Taylor)

Iron Horse 2012 was special as the race is growing and so many of my Florida peeps, my New York brother Tony Portera, as well as Canadian family members Kathy, Jeff and Nathalie all made the journey for a humid but overcast race. The field made the competition much better and the weather increased the carnage factor quite a bit including sending the winner to the hospital after smoking the course record in 15h40m. As many would learn the humidity of Florida is deceiving and salt and hydration an often tricky task.

Myself, Kathy Adams and Tony Portera at the start

I came into the race with an injury, early achilles tendinitis, not so wise I guess but oh well. I have learned, for me at least, the ability to push through these things and that they ALWAYS mend on the backside so there was no stopping. I cannot and will never speak for anyone else but do believe there are many quit points in life. The times when it would be easier to choose not to complete something in front of us so we do not. I have seen this far too often in races. Fear of having to walk, fear of putting out a "bad" time or worries about performance in the next race 3 months later. That all makes complete sense, but last time I checked most ultrarunners do not run for a living and will not be penalized for having to recover after laying it all on the line. This of course does not include anything that involves putting yourself in true harms way medically, as a Physician I can say that is just plain silly. The mind becomes very powerful when it gains the confidence of pushing through our perceived limits. As I sat at the pre-race briefing in Leadville in 2008, then RD Ken Chlouber said something that has stuck with me everyday since. He told everyone, "Before you decide to quit the race tomorrow, outside of medical necessity of course, just remember you will wake up the next 364 days and remember what you did not complete and wonder if you could have and should have. "

I have become much keener as I participate in races getting an appreciation for everyone that is out there and seeing the grit and determination in their eyes. The beauty of ultras is you almost always get a smile and "great job" from every runner you pass no matter how they are feeling, now that is awesome. I often have people thank me for looking so strong and being supportive of them as they pass by, which means more to me than I can express. I try to embrace the moment and stay as positive as I can, trust me there is a lot of pain behind that smile most the time, especially in the later stages. For me Iron Horse was a good race all in all, second fastest hundred at 18h40m and a solid 4th place with a great group of folks and solid field of runners. More importantly I watched several people push through the perceived "quit point" and based on some of the Facebook posts I have seen it will be impactful for sure. As Ray Zahab says, "It is 90% mental and the other 10% is all in your head".

Ouch but improving already

My tendinitis is a bit worse for wear now but this too in time will pass. I cannot say how proud I am of all the people I saw yesterday conquering their own races. As I have said before, I have a lot of good friends with very bad ideas. Those "bad" ideas have helped me become better and stronger mentally and physically and helped me stay out of the comfort zone instead of being protected by it.

Loyal friends

Thinking about my friends  Lisa Bliss and Catra Corbett who have recently lost dogs (Steely Dan and Rocky Ridge) dear to their heart inspired this blog. They are both such dog lovers and more importantly great friends and family to all those that surround them.

So not very long ago we were fortunate enough to adopt a third dog, our second rescue dog and only one under the age of 14 but lets start at the beginning.....

We have been blessed by the company of Ella since before we were married, actually we purchased her a few weeks after we started dating. Guess we predicted correctly that we were all in this for the long run, no pun intended. We were told she was a pure breed, um no. She was; however, clearly the runt of the litter and although quite moody a special addition to our life. As "Grandmother" or Ella ages she becomes less willing to be touched, a little less secure with her bowel care but ever lovable in her own way. Our 6yo's "I have a dream" wish was that she stopped having diarrhea so she could no longer sleep in the laundry room. It touched many hearts and apparently Ella's as well as she is back and growling again, actually she tried to bite e last night for no apparent reason but then again she is in her 90's.



Ella trapping herself in a cereal box



She was not to happy about this pumpkin


Enter Zora, same age now but around six or so when we adopted her. The most amazing lab/basset mix and so friendly and loving with the kids and everyone she meets. That's the beauty, dogs instill so much love to those who care for them and they do it in such an honest and easy way. Zora was my "big black dog" that I always wanted. Actually a 60lb low to the ground lab and shrinking and greying more everyday but so special. She was never trained to stay close by so when she ventures out of the invisible fence she just flies like the wind and returns when it suits her. Her hips are a little slow these days but her grey nose always loving. She will always be my special dog as we have shared a lot together. You know after hour conversations about life between just she and I. Z is such a good listener.




Z being sweet sweet Z :)


Then there was Bear. Our friend Susan found him at her doorstep and we quickly took a liking. I finally had a "boy" in the house. Yes, even the hamster is a girl. Lucky for him we found his owners but lucky for us they could not really take care of him and asked that we keep him. We obliged of course, a little bit sad but very happy as well. "Mandog" has found a good home. He is part Burmese Mountain dog and part Shepherd (we think) weighing in around 70lbs. Most of the weight is in his head which he often rests various places just to take a load off I think. He is convinced he is a person and LOVES to run and play, I run he trots gracefully. He is around 2ish and is certainly another amazing addition to the Roman kennel.




Mandog says hello

What ya' think Mandog :)


Mandog says naptime, I like it here for sure...


Why do we love dogs so much, because they are loyal, trusting, ever present and will ALWAYS be there when times are tough. We should all be so lucky to be surrounded by people like that in our life. I know I am for sure and that makes me a very, very lucky guy.

Embrace the simplicity every once in a while, it is hard sometimes but our loyal friends do it everyday :)

Desert dreaming......

Oh yes, it is already that time of year again. It's really hard to believe that about 5 years ago during a training run someone asked me if I would ever consider running a 100 mile race..... "maybe" I said. In the background someone whimsically chimed in and said "Hey, how about that race in the desert, you know Badlands, Badwater, you know that race". My initial response " I might be crazy but I am not that crazy". Funny how things change. I always tell people Ultrarunning and the Ultrarunning community is a slippery, slippery slope. Trust me, there are worse habits. Like my friend Matt Russell says, "It's a good crazy".

In 2010, I was honored to both get chosen in the lottery for Western States then get invited to crew at Badwater for my best friend Tony Portera. The first was a great success, not only did I meet another great friend and future Badwater finisher  Terry Sentinella but I manged to secure the coveted Sub24h buckle. The second ; however, turned out to be an even greater life changer. I knew Badwater, I knew every link on the site, had watched every video a thousand times, knew the finisher list like the back of my hand and knew every inch of the course. Ah, but until you experience THAT place and THAT race you really do not understand what it is all about. The event, that is the "Badwater 135" brings together possibly the strongest family I have ever witnessed. The level of camaraderie and compassion during an event that leaves you truly stripped to the core is unmatched. As we walked toward Lone Pine in 2010 Tony said "We came into this friends and we leave as family, that's how it works". I get it now for sure and understand fully why crew experience is so coveted in the application process.

Tony and I Badwater 2010

Terry and I Rucky Chucky Western Sates 2010

Me and my BFF at my favorite sign 2011


Yesterday the application line opened once again, certainly to be flooded by some of the world's most elite athletes. I was so ready to apply I somehow managed to be the first one in, but it's no secret that here is no other race or place more dear to my heart than this and it is an honor even to be considered. It is also no secret that the source of my strength comes from my BFF Erin , she is my rock. Here's wishing everyone the greatest of success in whatever endeavour they seek to conquer or be a part of. Taking a few steps out of my comfort zone just a few years ago has transformed my life for the better in so many ways. Take the first step and never look back.......

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.